Irresistible
One of the Pharisees asked Jesus to have dinner with him, so Jesus went to his home and sat down to eat. When a certain immoral woman from that city heard he was eating there, she brought a beautiful alabaster jar filled with expensive perfume. Then she knelt behind him at his feet, weeping. Her tears fell on his feet, and she wiped them off with her hair. Then she kept kissing his feet and putting perfume on them.
When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would know what kind of woman is touching him. She’s a sinner!”…
[Jesus said] “I tell you, her sins – and they are many – have been forgiven, so she has shown me much love. But a person who is forgiven little shows only little love.”
(Luke 7:36-39; 47 NLT)
Tell me, could two people possibly be any more different? He’s looked up to; she’s looked down on. He’s a church leader; she’s a streetwalker. He makes a living promoting standards; she’s made a living breaking them. He’s hosting the party; and she’s crashing it. Ask the residents of Capernaum to point out the more pious of the two and they’d pick Simon in a heartbeat. After all, he’s a student of theology, a man of the cloth. Anyone would pick him, right? Well, anyone, that is, except Jesus.
Jesus knew them both. And Jesus picked the woman. What’s more, he tells Simon why he picked her. Not that Simon really wanted to know because his mind was elsewhere. How did this tramp get into my house? And Simon doesn’t know who to yell at first – the woman, or the lazy servant who let the riff-raff in. After all, this dinner is a formal affair. Invitation only. The upper crust. The crème de la crème.
But it was customary in that day for outsiders to hover around these kinds of banquets so they could watch the “pretty people,” and eavesdrop on their conversations. And, since everything was open, they could even enter the banquet hall and speak to a guest since, in that day, women were never invited to banquets. So, there’s Simon – fuming. Just look at her – groveling at Jesus’ feet. Kissing them, no less! Disgusting. Why, if Jesus was who he said he is, he would have nothing to do with this floozy! Unfortunately, one of the lessons Simon learned that day was: Don’t think thoughts you don’t want Jesus to hear. Because Jesus heard them, and when he did, he chose to share a few thoughts of his own.
“Simon,” he said to the Pharisee, “I have something to say to you.” “All right, Teacher,” Simon replied, “go ahead.” Then Jesus told him this story: “A man loaned money to two people – five hundred pieces of silver to one and fifty pieces to the other.[1] But neither of them could repay him, so he kindly forgave them both, canceling their debts. Who do you suppose loved him more after that?” Simon answered, “I suppose the one for whom he canceled the larger debt.” “That’s right,” Jesus said.
Then he turned to the woman and said to Simon, “Look at this woman kneeling here. When I entered your home, you didn’t offer me water to wash the dust from my feet, but she has washed them with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You didn’t greet me with a kiss, but from the time I first came in, she has not stopped kissing my feet. You neglected the courtesy of olive oil to anoint my head, but she has anointed my feet with rare perfume. I tell you, her sins – and they are many – have been forgiven, so she has shown me much love. But a person who is forgiven little shows only little love.” (Luke 7:40-47 NLT)
So, get the picture. Simon invites Jesus to his house for dinner and then treats him like a red headed step-child: no customary courtesies; no kiss of greeting; no washing his feet; no oil for his head. Today, that’d be like saying no one opened the door for Jesus, took his coat, or even shook his hand and said “hello.” Frankenstein had better manners. But Simon does nothing to make Jesus feel welcome. The woman, on the other hand, does everything that Simon didn’t.
We aren’t told the woman’s name, just her reputation – a sinner. (Probably a prostitute) She had no invitation to the party, and had absolutely no standing in the community. But people’s opinions didn’t stop her from coming, because it wasn’t for their opinions that she came. She came for Jesus. Her every move was measured and meaningful. Each gesture was extravagant. She put her cheek to his feet, still dusty from the path. She had no water, but she had her tears. She had no towel, but she had her hair, and she used both to bathe the feet of Jesus. As one translation puts it, “she rained tears” on his feet. (Verse 44 MSG) And then she opened a vial of expensive perfume, perhaps her only possession of worth, and massaged it into Jesus’ skin. And the aroma must have been as inescapable as the irony. You see, the vial was likely a delicately carved alabaster container (finely grained gypsum) that had a long neck. And the only way to pour out the contents would be to break the neck of the vial. (In other words, a broken vessel) And if the perfume were to be saved, a new container would have to be found.
The thing is you’d think Simon, of all people, would show this kind of love. I mean, isn’t he the preacher at the local church, the student of the Scriptures? He invited Jesus to dinner, for crying out loud! But he’s harsh and distant. But then you’d think that the woman would avoid Jesus at all costs. Isn’t she a woman of the night, the town hussy? But she can’t resist him. Simon’s “love” is calibrated and stingy. Her love is extravagant and risky. So, how do you explain the difference between these two? Was it their training? Maybe their education? Their money? Nope. Simon wins that competition going away, and on all accounts. But there’s one area where the woman leaves Simon in the dust – literally.
What one discovery has she made that Simon hasn’t? What one treasure does she cherish that Simon doesn’t? That’s simple, and it’s not perfume. The one treasure she cherishes more than any is God’s love. Now, we don’t know when she received it. We aren’t even told how she heard about it. Maybe she overheard Jesus’ words, “Your Father is merciful.” (Luke 6:36) Or, maybe she heard Jesus say, “Come unto me … and I will give you rest.” (Matt. 11:28-30) Perhaps someone told her about Jesus touching lepers and turning tax collectors into disciples. We just don’t know. But we do know this: she came thirsty. Thirsty from guilt. Thirsty from regret. Thirsty from countless nights of making love and finding none. Thirsty.
Simon, on the other hand, doesn’t even know he’s thirsty. You see, people like Simon don’t need grace; they analyze it. They don’t require mercy; they debate it, instead. It wasn’t that Simon couldn’t be forgiven. It’s just that he’d never asked! “A person who is forgiven little shows only little love.” In other words, Simon couldn’t give what he never received! And I think it’s the same for us, too. Like trying to get blood out of a turnip. If we’ve never received love, how can we love others?
Oh, mind you, we try. It’s as if we can conjure up love by the sheer force of our will; as if there is a distillery of affection inside us that lacks only a piece of wood, or a hotter fire. So we poke it and stoke it with conviction. For instance, what’s our typical strategy for treating a troubled relationship? Trying harder. “My friend needs forgiveness? I don’t know how I’m gonna do it, but I’m gonna forgive him anyway.” Or, “I don’t care how much it hurts; I’m going to be nice to that bum.” We try. Teeth clenched. Jaw firm. We’re going to love even if it kills us! And it just may do that. But aren’t we missing a step? Could it be that the first step of love is not toward them but toward Him? Could it be that the secret to loving is receiving? You give love by first receiving it. “We love, because He first loved us.” (1 John 4:19)
So, do you want to be more loving? Begin by accepting your place as God’s child. “Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us.” (Eph. 5:1-2) Want to learn how to forgive? Then consider how much you’ve been forgiven. “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Eph 4:32) Finding it hard to put others first? Think of how Christ put you first. “Though he was God, he did not think equality with God as something to cling to.” (Phil. 2:6) Need more patience? Drink from the patience of God. “The Lord isn’t really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent.” (2 Pet. 3:9) Is generosity an elusive virtue? Then consider how generous God’s been with you. “But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.” (Rom. 5:8) Having trouble putting up with ungrateful relatives, or cranky neighbors? Just remember that God puts up with you when you act the same way. “He is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.” (Luke 6:35) Get the picture?
OK, then can’t we just will ourselves to start loving like this? Well, not without God’s help we can’t. Oh, we may succeed for a time. Just like Simon, we may open a door. But our relationships need more than a mere social gesture. Some of our friends need a foot washing. A family member needs a flood of tears. Our kids need to be covered in the oil of our love. But if we haven’t received these things ourselves, how can we give them to others? You see, a marriage-saving love is not within us. A friendship-preserving devotion isn’t in our hearts. "The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked. Who really knows how bad it is?” (Jer. 17:9) We need help from an outside source. A transfusion. And it starts by receiving God’s love.
The problem seems to be, however, that most of us are guilty of skipping that first step. “Love each other!” we preach. “Be patient, kind, forgiving,” we urge. But instructing people to love without telling them they are loved is like telling them to write a check without having made a deposit into their accounts. So is it any wonder why so many relationships are overdrawn? Hearts have insufficient love. (And those NSF charges can really pile up!)
In my opinion, the apostle John models the right sequence. He makes a deposit before he tells us to write the check. First, the deposit: “God showed how much he loved us by sending his one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through him. This is real love – not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.” (1 John 4:9-10) And then, having made such an outrageous, eye-opening deposit, John tells us to pull out the checkbook: “Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other.” (vs. 11)
The secret to loving, I think, is living loved. This seems to be the forgotten first step in most of our relationships. It’s kind of like taking down your Christmas tree – which is my usual responsibility during the New Year’s holiday. You know the routine, don’t you? Remove the ornaments, tear down the lights, carry out the tree, take it to the local disposal site, and then sweep up all the needles. Thousands of needles. (Why are there so many needles?) Because the tree’s falling apart! And you can blame that on bad rooting, because for a month or more (my family’s tradition is to get it the day after Thanksgiving), the tree’s been planted in a plastic bowl. And what kind of nutrients come from a plastic bowl? Uh, none. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zero. And Simon had the same problem. He was impressive to look at, nicely decorated and all, but he fell apart when shaken.
Maybe some of us are thirsty for this kind of love. Those who should have loved us but didn’t. Those who could have loved us but wouldn’t. We were left at the hospital. Left at the altar. Left with an empty bed. Left with a broken heart. Left with our question: “Does anybody really love me?” But listen to heaven’s answer: God loves you. Personally. Powerfully. Passionately. Others have promised and failed. But God has promised and succeeded. He loves you with an unfailing love. And his love – if you’ll let it – can fill you and leave you with a love worth giving.
Several years ago, I was challenged to replace the word Love in 1 Corinthians 13 (the “Love” chapter) with my name. When I did, I became an instant liar. For instance, “Randy is patient, Randy is kind. Randy does not envy, Randy does not boast, Randy is not proud. Randy does not dishonor others, Randy is not self-seeking, Randy is not easily angered, Randy keeps no record of wrongs.” (Vs. 4-5) Like I said, it made me a liar. And for years that was my problem with this paragraph and, frankly, with the entire 13th chapter of 1 Corinthians. It set a standard I couldn’t meet. No one can meet it. Well, no one, that is, except Jesus. Need proof? Try it: “Jesus is patient, Jesus is kind. Jesus does not envy, Jesus does not boast, Jesus is not proud. Jesus does not dishonor others, Jesus is not self-seeking, Jesus is not easily angered, Jesus keeps no record of wrongs.” (Thank God!) Now, do you get the picture?
So, instead of letting this scripture remind us of a love we can’t produce, maybe we should try letting it remind us of a love we can’t resist.
Grace,
Randy
[1] A piece of silver, or denarius, was equal to a day’s wage. So, in this example, $3,200.00 is compared to $32,000.00, based upon current California minimum wage.
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