When Faith Says, "Even If"

 

When Faith Says, “Even If”

“Go, gather together all the Jews who are in Susa, and fast for me. Do not eat or drink for three days, night or day. I and my attendants will fast as you do. When this is done, I will go to the king, even though it is against the law. And if I perish, I perish.”
(Esther 4:16)

There are moments in life when you wish God would just send you a detailed set of instructions. A complete itinerary, expected outcomes, and preferably a money-back guarantee. “Lord, if You want me to take this job, please send me an email. If You want me to move, put it on a billboard. And if You want me to have that difficult conversation with my spouse, perhaps You could just handle that one Yourself.” But God doesn't usually work that way. Sometimes He calls us to take a step without showing us where the staircase leads. And that's exactly where we find Esther.

Esther was a young Jewish woman who had become queen of Persia. She had a palace, servants, beautiful clothes, and probably never had to ask where anyone wanted to go for dinner. But there was a problem. A man named Haman had convinced King Xerxes to issue a decree calling for the destruction of the Jewish people. And Esther was Jewish. Her privilege had become a tremendous responsibility. Her cousin Mordecai sent her a message urging her to intervene. But there was a complication. Under Persian law, no one — not even the queen — could approach the king without being summoned. Doing so could result in death unless the king extended his golden scepter.

I've had difficult conversations where somebody might get upset or even walk out. But I've never had a conversation where I thought, “Well, if this doesn't go well, they're going to execute me.” That's a whole different level of awkward. Esther could remain silent and protect herself temporarily or risk everything to save her people. And then Mordecai asked one of the most important questions in all of Scripture: “And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” (Esther 4:14) For such a time as this.

What if the very place Esther found herself — the place she had not planned, the circumstances she had not chosen — was exactly where God intended to use her? And what if the same is true of you? Maybe you're dealing with a problem you didn't create or responsibilities you never asked for. And you've been asking God, “Why am I here?” Perhaps the better question is, “Lord, what do You want to do through me while I'm here?” Because sometimes God doesn't put us in comfortable places. He puts us in consequential places. Notice what Esther did next.

She didn't immediately rush into the throne room. She didn't hire a consultant or post a strongly worded statement on social media. She said, “Gather the people and fast for three days.” Before confronting the king, she sought God. The text mentions fasting, not prayer, but Scripture frequently connects fasting with seeking God. Ezra 8:23 tells us: “So we fasted and petitioned our God about this, and he answered our prayer.” Esther understood something we frequently forget. Preparation isn't always about doing more. Sometimes preparation is about becoming still enough to trust God.

We celebrate action: Do something! Fix the problem! We have instant everything. We get irritated when the microwave takes too long. And then we wonder why God's timing seems so slow. “Lord, I've been praying about this for almost twenty minutes. Is there a problem with the connection?” But Isaiah 40:31 reminds us: “But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.” Sometimes slowing down reminds us of who’s in charge. Esther didn't fast because she knew God would guarantee her safety. She fasted because she knew she couldn't control the outcome.

Prayer doesn't always change our circumstances immediately, but prayer changes how we enter those circumstances. Philippians 4:6–7 tells us not to be anxious about anything, but to bring everything to God in prayer. And what does God promise? Not necessarily the outcome we requested. He promises His peace, and sometimes peace is what we need for the next step.

So, after three days, Esther made her decision. She would go to the king. And then she spoke those unforgettable words: “And if I perish, I perish.” Now, that's not exactly the kind of inspirational slogan you'd expect to find on a coffee mug. Most mugs say, “Choose Joy” or “But First, Coffee.” Imagine one that says, “If I perish, I perish.” That'll get your morning started. But Esther wasn't being pessimistic. She was being courageous. She understood the danger and decided that doing right mattered more than comfort. That's what biblical courage looks like.

Courage isn't the absence of fear. Courage is trusting God enough to obey Him while fear is still sitting in the passenger seat. Think about Joshua. After Moses died, God called Joshua to lead the Israelites into the Promised Land. And in Joshua 1:9, God said: “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Notice what God didn't say. He didn't say, “Joshua, there's nothing to worry about.” There were enemies and a river to cross. God didn't promise Joshua an easy assignment. He promised His presence. Jesus repeats that promise in Matthew 28:20: “And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Sometimes we want God to remove the obstacle, but God wants us to discover that His presence is greater than the obstacle.

Remember Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego? When King Nebuchadnezzar threatened to throw them into the fiery furnace, they declared that God was able to deliver them. But then they added something remarkable: “But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods.” (Daniel 3:18) There it is again. The faith of Esther. The faith that says, “Even if.” Even if God doesn't answer the way I hoped. Even if the circumstances don't change. Even if obedience costs me something. I will still trust Him. That's not weak faith. That's mature faith.

Here's something important about Esther. We know how her story ends. She approaches the king. He extends his golden scepter. Eventually, Haman's wicked plot is exposed, and the Jewish people are delivered. We can read the story in twenty minutes. Esther couldn't. She was living it one frightening day at a time. She didn't have Esther chapter 5 to reassure her that the king would welcome her. She didn't have chapter 7 to tell her Haman would be exposed. And she certainly didn't have chapter 9 to show her how the story would turn out. She only had the moment in front of her.

 We want chapter 9 while we're still struggling through chapter 4. We want God to show us how everything works out before we're willing to trust Him. But Hebrews 11:1 says: “Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see.” And Proverbs 3:5–6 reminds us: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Notice it doesn't say God will explain every turn in the road. It says He will direct our paths. But we want God to be our GPS. “Lord, tell me exactly where I'm going, how long it will take, and whether there's traffic.” And God simply says, “Trust Me. Take the next step.”

Thankfully, most of us will never face a Persian king with the power to execute us. But every one of us eventually faces a throne-room moment. Maybe it's a conversation you've been avoiding. Maybe it's admitting you were wrong. That's particularly difficult for some of us. We can apologize, provided we're allowed to explain why we were technically right. As a lawyer, I’ve made a living out of arguing why my client was technically right. Or maybe it's trusting God with a future that looks nothing like the one you planned. James 1:22 tells us: “Do not merely listen to the word and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.” There comes a time when faith must move from what we believe to what we do. Esther prayed. Esther fasted. And then Esther walked into the throne room. She didn't know what would happen but knew what to do. And sometimes that's all God gives us.

I love that God's name is never explicitly mentioned in the book of Esther. And yet, His providence can be seen throughout the story. Through delays and unexpected reversals, we see God working even when He seems silent. Just because you cannot see God working doesn't mean He isn't working. Just because you don't know the outcome doesn't mean God has lost control. And just because you're afraid doesn't mean you lack faith. Esther's greatness wasn't that she knew everything would turn out well. It was that she chose to do what was right without knowing how things would turn out. So, pray before you move. Seek godly counsel. Prepare your heart. And when the moment comes, take the step. Not because you know what tomorrow holds, but because you know the One who holds tomorrow.

Perhaps the greatest question isn't “Will everything work out the way I want?” but: “Lord, will I still trust You if it doesn't?” Because real faith doesn't always say, “I know God will rescue me.” Sometimes real faith simply says: “I know God is able. I know God is good. And even if things don't turn out the way I hoped, I will trust Him.” Esther said, “If I perish, I perish.” Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego said, “Even if He does not.” And Jesus, in the Garden of Gethsemane, prayed: “Yet not my will, but yours be done.” (Luke 22:42) Three different moments. One extraordinary expression of surrender.

Faith is not trusting God because we know how the story ends; faith is trusting God because we know who’s writing it. And when your moment comes, when the door opens and the future is uncertain, may you have the courage to say: “Lord, I've prayed. I've prepared. I'm afraid. But I'm going forward. And whatever happens, I'm trusting You – even if.”

Grace,

Randy