Call Him Daddy
And when you come before God, don’t turn that into a theatrical production either. All these people are making a regular show out of their prayers, hoping for stardom! Do you think God sits in a box seat? Here’s what I want you to do: find a quiet, secluded place so you won’t be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace. The world is full of so-called prayer warriors who are prayer ignorant. They’re full of formulas, programs, and advice, peddling techniques for getting what you want from God. Don’t fall for that nonsense. This is your Father you’re dealing with, and he knows better than you what you need. With a God like this loving you, you can pray very simply. (Matt. 6:5-8; MSG)
When my oldest daughter was eight, she flubbed a wide-open goal on the pitch. She went on to become a terrific high school soccer player and was even offered a scholarship to play at a Southern California university. But everyone has an off day – she just happened to have hers in front of family, friends and onlookers at an international soccer tournament. Her performance started well; she dribbled and deked up the field like Mia Hamm. But just prior to taking her shot on goal, her efforts took a header, and she missed wide right at what was, essentially, a wide-open goal. I can still see her staring straight ahead, eyes betrayed by what a right foot that had trained countless hours knew how to do.
The silence in the stadium was broken only by the pounding of my heart. “That’s alright, Punkin;’ it can happen to anyone,” I said to myself. But the damage had been done. She looked at her coach, chin quivering and eyes tearing. The audience offered compassionate applause. She stayed in the game, but her heart just wasn’t in it. By the end of the game, I’d left my seat and met her on the sidelines. She threw her arms around me and buried her face in my shirt. "Oh, Dad." I picked her up and bear-hugged her with affection. If a hug could have extracted embarrassment, that one would have. At that moment I would have given her the moon and all she said was, "Oh, Dad." Prayer starts there.
Prayer begins with an honest, heartfelt "Oh, Daddy." Jesus taught us to begin our prayers by saying, "Our Father in heaven." (Matt. 6:9) More specifically, to begin with “Our Abba in heaven." Abba is an intimate, tender, folksy term and is the warmest of Aramaic words for "father." It is formality stripped away, and proximity promised. Jesus invites us to approach God the way a child approaches his or her daddy. And how do children approach their daddies? Well, I went to a local school playground a few years back to find out. Upon arrival, I found a spot on the bench under a tree and took a few notes.
Most of the kids were picked up by their moms that day, but there were enough dads who had carpool duty for me to complete my research. When a five-year-old boy with a Superman backpack spotted his father in the parking lot, he shouted "Yippee!" "Ice creeeeaaaam!" said another, apparently referring to a promise made by the dad to his red-headed daughter. "Pops! Over here! Push me!" yelled a boy wearing a Padres hat. I heard requests, like "Daddy, can Tommy come home with me? His mom is on a trip, and he doesn't want to hang out with his big sister because she won't let him watch TV and makes him eat . . . ." His mouth was like a broken fire hydrant – the words just didn’t stop. I also heard questions like, "Are we going home?" And I heard excitement, too, "Dad! Look at what I did!"
Here's what I didn't hear: "Father, it is most gracious of thee to drive thy car to my place of education and provide me with domestic transportation. Please accept my deepest gratitude for your benevolence. For thou art splendid in thy attentive care and diligent in thy dedication." I didn’t hear that. I didn't hear formality or impressive vocabulary. I heard kids who were happy to see their dads and eager to talk. God invites us to approach him in the same way. And that’s a big relief because I think a lot of us fear “mis-praying.”
For instance, what is the expected etiquette and dress code of prayer? What if I kneel instead of stand? What if I say the wrong words, or use the wrong tone? Am I apostate if I say "prostate" instead of "prostrate"? Jesus' answer? "Unless you are converted and become like little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven." (Matt. 18:3) We are to become like little children – carefree; joy-filled; playful; trusting; curious, and excited. Forget greatness; seek littleness. Trust more, and strut less. Make lots of requests and accept all the gifts. Come to God the way a child comes to his or her dad.
Daddy. The very word takes aim at our pride. Other salutations permit an air of sophistication. You know, deepen the tone of voice, and pause for dramatic effect. "O holy Lord . . . ." I allow the words to reverberate throughout the universe as I, the pontiff of petition, pontificate my prayer. "God, you are my King, and I am your prince." “You are the Maestro, and I am your minstrel." "You are the President, and I am your ambassador." But God prefers this greeting: "God, you’re my Daddy, and I’m your child." And here's why: it's hard to call God “Daddy” and show off all at the same time. In fact, it’s impossible.
And maybe that’s the point. Elsewhere, Jesus gives this instruction: "And when you come before God, don’t turn that into a theatrical production either. All these people are making a regular show out of their prayers, hoping for stardom! Do you think God sits in a box seat?" (Matt. 6:5) Religious leaders of Jesus’ day loved (and still love) to make theater out of their prayers. They perched themselves at intersections and practiced public piety. Their show nauseated Jesus. "Find a quiet, secluded place so you won’t be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace." (Matt. 6:6)
These words probably stunned Jesus' audience. Prayer, they likely assumed, was reserved for special people in a special place. God met with the priest in the temple, behind the curtain in the Holy of Holies. The people, on the other hand, were simple farmers and craftsmen – folks of the land and the earth. They couldn't enter the temple, but they could enter their closets: “But you, when you pray, enter your closet, and when you have shut your door, pray to your Father who is in secret.” (Id.)
In the Palestinian culture of Jesus’ time, the room most likely to have a door was the storage closet. It held tools, seed and farming supplies. A chicken might even wander in occasionally. There was nothing holy about the closet. It was the day-to-day workroom of its time. For instance, my closet doesn’t have any fancy fixtures or impressive furniture. It has a cubby for my shoes (used on a hit-or-miss basis), a dirty-clothes hamper (more hit than miss), and shirts, pants, suits and ties. But I don't entertain guests in my closet. You'll never hear me tell visitors after dinner, "Hey, why don't we step into my closet for a chat?" I prefer the living room or family room, instead; even my study. But God apparently likes to chat in the closet. Why? Because he's low on fancy, and high on accessibility.
To pray at the Vatican can be very meaningful, but prayers offered at home carry just as much weight as prayers offered in Rome. Or you could travel to the Wailing Wall in Jerusalem if you wanted to, but a prayer at your backyard fence is just as effective. The One who hears your prayers is your Daddy. You don’t have to woo him with your location, or wow him with your eloquence. But Jesus wasn’t finished there. "The world is full of so-called prayer warriors who are prayer ignorant. They’re full of formulas, programs, and advice, peddling techniques for getting what you want from God. Don’t fall for that nonsense. This is your Father you’re dealing with, and he knows better than you what you need. With a God like this loving you, you can pray very simply." (Matt. 6:7-8)
Jesus downplayed the importance of words in prayers. Unfortunately, we tend to do the opposite. The more words, the better. The better the words the better, for that matter. For instance, Muslim prayers, however impressive, must be properly recited at each of the five appointed times during the day. Hindu and Buddhist prayers, however profound, depend upon the repetition of mantras, words and syllables. Even branches of the Christian faith emphasize the appropriate prayer language, the latest prayer trend, and the holiest prayer terminology. Against all this emphasis on syllables and rituals, Jesus says, "Don't fall for that nonsense." (Matt. 6:7) Vocabulary and geography might impress people, but it doesn’t impress God.
The truth is that there’s no panel of angelic judges with numbered cards saying, "Wow, that prayer was a ten. God will definitely hear that one!" Or "Ugh, that was pretty bad. Couldn’t you have done just a little bit better? You only scored a two on that one this morning; you’d better go home and practice." Prayers aren't given style points, and prayer isn’t a competition. Just as a happy child cannot mis-hug a parent, the sincere heart cannot mis-pray. Heaven knows, life has enough burdens without the burden of having to pray correctly. Frankly, if prayer depended on how I pray, then I'm sunk. But if the power of prayer depends on the One who hears it, and if the One who hears the prayer is my Daddy, then I have hope. And so do you.
Prayer really is that simple. So, resist the urge to complicate it. Don't take undue pride in well-crafted prayers, and don't apologize for incoherent ones, either. No games. No cover-ups. Just be honest – honest to God. Climb into his lap. Tell him everything that’s on your heart, or tell him nothing at all. Just lift your heart to heaven and declare, “Daddy,” because sometimes "Daddy" is all we can muster. Stress. Fear. Guilt. Grief. Demands on all sides. Sometimes all we can summon is a plaintive, "Oh, Dad." If so, that's enough.
It was for my daughter; she uttered only two words, and I wrapped her in my arms because I hurt for her breaking heart. And your heavenly Father will do the same; all you have to do is call His name and he simply asks you to call him Daddy.
Grace,
Randy